Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom has been released and if there’s one thing that’s guaranteed, people still love dinosaurs and Jeff Goldblum.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom offers nothing new in this prehistoric-driven franchise. In fact, it’s exactly how you imagined it to be: lots of people being in peril with lots of bird ancestors causing said peril. What we can appreciate is the film never pretending to be something it isn’t—a morality tale that tries to preach about man’s unabated arrogance. However, we are disappointed there isn’t enough of the original Jurassic Park series’ leather-clad, “rockstar” mathematician—Dr. Ian Malcolm, played by the illustrious Jeff Goldblum.
WARNING: Possible spoilers ahead
Okay, so the film does set the bad guys up as profiteers (like that’s anything new) who are abusing the forefront of genetics. But it’s a very thin plot device that never goes any deeper than that. Our heroes don’t change, and the line between good and evil never moves. It’s pretty much black and white. Does it detract from a fun time at the movies? Nope, not one bit.
Audiences need to go into this film knowing Universal Studios has flat-out given everyone what they wanted. It’s like going to McDonald’s. When we order McDonald’s fries, we know it’s the clown’s fries. Are we disappointed? Definitely not. In fact, if the golden arches do give us some form of “hipster fare,” we’d be livid. Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom makes the promise of dinosaurs and big action, and it packages all those empty calories into a neat bundle ready for us to stuff our gleeful faces.
Now back to our “not enough Goldblum” complaint. The iconic actor—with his “ohs,” uhms,” “oohs,” and “ahhs”—is only captured in two scenes, divulging his philosophy and wisdom. The monologue from this bespectacled scholar still rings as true and sage-like as it did back in 1993, when the first film was released. It would’ve been great had he been part of the action in the current film, dropping little quips and gold nuggets that were as timeless as “yeah, but, John, if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don’t eat the tourists,” “I’m simply saying that life, uh … finds a way,” and “that is one big pile of shit.”
Whether it was a budgetary concern or Goldblum pulling a Murtaugh (“I’m just too old for this shit.”), Universal Studios should’ve moved heaven and earth and tried to get the former Brundlefly a larger part. Goldblum could’ve elevated this movie and made it more than a body count of greedy evil people.
With that said, Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard—reprising their roles from Jurassic World (2015)—do a fine and adequate job. In fact, the entertainment comes from both of these actors suddenly becoming superheroes towards the end of the film. The skills and death-defying spectacles displayed here puts any Marvel Cinematic Universe film to shame. Hey, Bryce, is that a 6-inch gash in your leg that’s cut to the bone? No problem, she’ll be able to climb a roof in the next scene because … you know … time heals everything. Classic Hollywood blockbuster logic.
And Rafe Spalls, who plays main villain Eli Mills, looks like he underwent the same genetic splicing as the dinosaurs except his DNA contains one part Ryan Gosling, one part Ryan Reynolds, and a touch of Bradley Cooper with some Jason Sudeikis tones. It’s strange, but it does look like his character becomes the allegory for the movie’s genetic-engineering plot. How meta?
We love the ridiculousness of this film, as it’s very nostalgic. Before Tinseltown’s turn to the whole dark, brooding, and “grounded” fad in films, this was what going to the movies was all about. So we’re definitely not bashing it. It has dinosaurs in it already, how grounded do we want it? If you’re gonna dream, dream big!
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Aside from Goldblum gracing us with his brief presence, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom does have quite a few homages. Remember that Ariana Richards scene with her trying to close a sliding metal cabinet door? That’s given a prominent tribute here. And the side-stare of a carnivorous dinosaur realizing it’s looking at it’s prey? Check. The amount of these callbacks outweigh even the biggest stampeding sauropods.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom is a guilty pleasure. It offers nothing more than a few jump scares and some fun moments. And, from the ending, it seems the studio isn’t giving up on this franchise just yet. Why? Because they know at least one thing: people love dinosaurs.
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom was released in the United States on June 21, 2018.
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